Art’s bloggetyblog-blog-blog

I went without percs today and its back to the same state as before the shots. Good to get all that out of the way. I'm beginning to believe after nuking the nerve that maybe this isnt about the disk and the nerve after all. I'm hoping its all about messed up muscles screwing up the nerves in my leg. And if its not that, I'm headed down to lay my left leg across the railroad track.

I can't wait for these steroids to wash out of my system. They're not working and they're turning me into the worlds most irritable prick. I'm without a single iota of patience. Maybe I'll drink lots of water today.

I know its silly but I found out they do have medical marijuana here in Washington. I think I'll save it for the "why the hell not" moment before surgery.

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This guy spent ten minutes in line trying to figure out what sandwich to get. Then when they asked me for my drink order before he decided, he gave me a dirty look. Then the guy sat where I was going to sit. Eff you, bucko. In another time I'd have thrown you through the window and whipped your sandwich at your empty head.

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"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never, Never, Never, Never give up."

- Winston Churchill

Which small businesses are hurt most by rising gas prices? What can they do to save money?
Sponsored by HP.

What a stupid question. What am I an economist? How the hell should I know? All of them? HP, you're an idiot.

I walked over to my pho joint for lunch and got kind of grossed out by some sort of snail looking bit of meat in my egg roll. I left, decided to road test my leg a bit. I wasn't feeling too optimistic because my calf was burning on the way to the pho place.

My calf burned the rest of the way around the international district, along with my foot. Burn as in that tingly burning kind of feeling associated when an appendage falls asleep. Not too much ache in there or heaviness, but definitely burning. Fuck it, right? My leg just burns. I have a leg that feels like it's burning and that's the way it is. A foot too. A burning foot and a burning leg. Even though I'm wearing sandals it feels like my foot is on fire. Same with my leg. Burning leg, burning foot.

I hate my leg and I hate my foot and my lousy calf and my back and everything else. Goddamnit. If there really was a god and he was listening I'd ask him to damn my leg, foot and back just to see what would happen to it all. Probably nothing. Damning it probably would mean that just those parts would be scheduled to go to hell when I die. How fucking lame is that?

Yes I'm really, really tired. I'm done with having shit poked into my back. Wouldn't be so bad if the back poking shit worked. Man, triple fuckety fuck. I'm at work and I want to kick holes in the wall. Have them lock me up and send me away for kicking holes into the wall. Here I am at my dream job in a wonderful town with wonderful people and I might as well be fucking dead. Shit. Triple fuckety shitty shit man, triple fuckety shitty shit.

Hello God? Bhudda? Allah? Anyone out there? Just in case there is someone with their ear to the ground, I'm asking for help here. Little help with the back and the leg thing here. Just a one off and I'll not bug you anymore. Hello aliens? l'm ready to trade relief from the leg/back thing for middle of the night probes. Hey there Morpheus? I'm ready for the pill man. I'll be the janitor on the ship if I can get that pill. Hello Emperor Palpatine? I'm ready to come to the dark side, just hit me with those lightning bolts and take care of the back thing. Yoda? Hello? Flying Spaghetti Monster? Jesus on a slice of toast? Can you hear me? Satan? Satan do you read blogs?

I'm just sitting here looking straight through my monitor because I'm at the end of the line. Pain medication doesn't help. Buying stuff doesn't help. Eating doesn't help. Shots, massage, heating pads, inversion tables, massage cushions, chiropractors, good intentions, happy thoughts, divine intervention, nothing. Man how the heck did it come to this? Man if I could I'd go home right now and smash myself in the back with a baseball bat. Only thing is I can't get a good swing and there's nobody out there that'll do it for me. Man.

Man man man. I hate my stupid burning leg.

So we went in, checked in, and I went upstairs for the procedure. I was an utter space cadet from the xanax my doctor gave me to take before the procedure. The nurse attempted to put in one of those iv thingies into my left hand but it didn't work. Hurt like hell though. She got one started on the right.

And there I went, got dizzy, hot and tingly. This time I let her know and she started a liter of saline before I passed out. Like last time it attracted all kinds of attention. My doc thinks it might actually have been the sedative helping trigger the vaso vago response. I chilled for awhile, napped while they kept an eye on me, and in I went.

It was fun because we joked around a ton. I really like this doc, Dr. Attaman. He's young and from Chicago and has an excellent wit. He was playing classical music and asked if I liked the "Art don't pass out theme music." I told him it was really the "Art has his bare ass in the air in a room full of people theme".

I got two shots this time, one in the same place as last time and one lower down. He used a different steroid, added more, and made sure it was nice and close to the nerve. So close in fact that I experienced the absolute worst and most inescapable discomfort that I've ever felt. It was on the second shot when he injected the steroid. It was this sick nerve pain, this nasty thick pressure that I could not get away from. Kind of a combination between a severe leg cramp and the pain one feels after their leg wakes up from falling asleep. I started writhing and kicking my leg on the table and actually did feel like I'd pass out. He told me to hang on and injected a pain killer, said the pain would go away in three seconds. I counted to three and sure enough it was gone.

After my leg was pretty weak. Actually my doc confirmed the strength was normal it just felt sore as heck. I had to walk slow with help from La to get to the car. We grabbed dinner on the way home and I was pretty much out of it while I ate. I was starving though. We got home around 5:30 or slow and I crashed out until 8:30. When I woke up the pain killer had gone away and the nasty thickness was back so it was pretty tough to get comfortable. I took a percocet, watched Verminators, drank a root beer then went to bed.

The long and the short of it is that it goddamned hurt. Period. I don't think I can handle doing it again. I'd rather just have them cut my leg off.

I got a souvenir pic! I came close to passing out again but we caught it this time. I hope it works...

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I was about to purchase one of those as-seen-on-tv aqua globe things for the plant in our living room as we're really bad at keeping it watered. As I was surfing for one on amazon.com I wondered if there might be a way to make my own, as it seems to be a simple design.

I just so happened to be sipping a bottle of cream soda as I surfed. I finished the cream soda, rinsed it out and filled it with water and put the cap back on. Then I poked a small hole in the cap and stuck it in the dirt in the plant in the living room. There you go, saved myself $16 bones.